Just like Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart”, the sound of the beating heart (in this case constant door slams) are enough to drive even the most sane person mad. No matter the hour of day, people- without regard for others- unleash a pandemonium of banging doors. What makes this such a significant dilemma you ask? Well, these gut wrenching blows always come in pairs. Now, every single time I hear a door slam, I sit waiting, anxiously dreading the second- hopefully last- “BANG!” 

This painful habit must be broken, for I fear I am close to my wit’s end. So, I must implore you, do your collegiate duties and bring this endless tourture to a close. Spare not only me, but all your fellow students from the relentless slams- which always sound at the worst possible times, most often after I have just drifted off into a deep slumber, only to be awoken to this sudden and heartstopping noise. Out of respect for the sanity of your neighbors, next time you decide to shut a door, I must request that you slowly, ever so gently, bring it to a close.